I realized I had not posted the very first spread I ever crafted on this blog and I thought to myself, “Self, you need to move this over so that you can share this spread with other people who might need guidance!”
On the night of June 3, 2015, I had the most intense dream. I was being instructed by The Cut-Wife from Penny Dreadful and Jaqen H’ghar from Game of Thrones. Nerdiest dream ever, I know, but there’s a reason!
The Cut-Wife focused on my ability to read the cards intuitively while Jaqen focused on my ability to see through them – if that makes sense. The Cut-Wife also drew my attention to reading in patterns: straight lines from left to right, right to left, up and down, down and up and any other pattern I could find. There was a lot of hand hitting and “try again” slaps. Jaqen drew my attention to “patterns without patterns because nothing is as it seems. If you see an obvious pattern, it’s usually incorrect. Look for what the person doesn’t want you to see.” Yes, there was more hitting. Gotta love that old-school approach to learning, right! I took the “patterns without patterns” comment into consideration when I woke up and started formulating a spread.
My friend went through something pretty traumatic and I can honestly say that I don’t understand what she’s experiencing but I used my dream inspiration to help me come up with a possible spread to help not only her but others in her situation or other abusive situations they feel they can’t get out of. The situation is very complicated but it deals with patterns without patterns – Gas-lighting, emotional abuse, manipulation, and trauma bonding. For abusers, there’s always a pattern but for the victim, they don’t see it until it’s too late.
I made it a spiral shape because I wanted to express the level of hurt and pain the querent is suffering at the moment and how to break the cycle and rise above it.
1. How the querent feels right now. Hurt? Distressed? Ashamed? Confused? These are all valid.
**There has been an update for position 2. Originally, it was: Is the querent ready to move on? A little bit aggressive, yes, and needing much clarification. Is anyone really ready to move on? Not always. A member of the ATN suggested the update and I’m so grateful she did!
2. What is the true situation here? What does the querent need to know in order to evaluate their situation with clarity? Sometimes the querent might need more time to move forward. If a card pops up that might suggest the querent isn’t quite ready, move to the next card to see if you can take baby steps towards healing. Find the pattern in the rest of the cards.
3. Advice – as in, what steps can the querent take to move out of the situation. Take position 2 into consideration as well. Is the querent truly ready?
4. Support system or mentors – do you need to seek outside support through friends and/or family or a professional?
5. What to leave behind. In my dream, I had this position very clearly listed as: “When you reach the opening of the cave, drop your baggage. In this case, who you were, before you take that first step out into the sun and don’t you dare look back.” Yes, that’s The Cut-Wife talking. Harsh but powerful.
6. How to begin the healing process. You’ve stepped out of the cave. Now what? How do you proceed forward? This might go in line with position 4: support system or mentors. Do you need their help or do you need help from another? Should you try something new? This goes in line with position 7.
7. Self-care action. What can you do to move beyond these feelings and continue the healing process? Keep going to therapy (if that’s what you’re doing)? Support groups? Mentors? A new hobby or craft? Should you write about it? Should you mentor others? Meditation?
8. How to rise above it and/or take your power back. The push we all need to break the cycle. How can you honor yourself and take your power back?
Please, please, pretty please let me know if you try this! Every piece of advice or feedback is extremely helpful. Thank you!