I like to think that April was quite victorious for me with a lot more truth-speaking than usual for a non-feather-ruffler like myself. How about you? Was April as victorious as you thought? What does that mean for May?
For my personal experience, this card is a wonderful followup to April‘s victorious Six of Wands. Why? For me, April saw me not being afraid (for once!) to speak my mind and speak up about things at work that weren’t right. Sure, there’s still work to be done in those areas but I finally was able to get the conversation started. It was reflected in this daily draw that turned into 3 cards because they had all jumped out!
To be honest, I had this post sitting in my drafts for a spell since the beginning half of May has been quite crazy, if I do say so myself. Work was bonkers. With the way my work schedule is with shoots happening quarterly, I am guaranteed to work extra hard when filming season comes around but this one was EXTRA. I had what felt like non-stop 13+ hour days for, like, 12 days in a row! That might not sound like a lot to some but when I’m salary on a Monday – Friday / 9 – 5’er, that’s a TON. Don’t even get me started on compensation! Not only were we shooting constantly, I was in the midst of DVD authoring (which sucks when you have to build 10!!!) with the tightest deadline I’ve ever had due to certain people dropping the ball in a major way. It most definitely was go, go, GO!!!
Now, I’m not trying to complain but we all have our limits and I’m pretty sure I pushed myself to mine this time. After the smoke cleared, I was all set to take a road trip with my boyfriend to Florida to spend Mother’s Day weekend with my Moms, my step-sister, and two nieces (who I adore!) and guess what? The day I got there, I got sick. Nothing too major, at first, but a little throat tickle. I was so miserable, I barely spent the time I wanted with my nieces. And all that hassle turned into a full-on bout with strep throat! Fever? Check. Sore throat? Double-check. My will to live in this mortal world completely gone? Check, check, check. I was so ready to be done with it all. No, seriously. The way I was feeling was not the best. I know that sounds ridiculous but I know we’ve all experienced a bout with the flu or strep or something that makes us just kinda feel like we’re ready to give up. I know I have and some of my coworkers (upon my return) revealed they’ve had those same feelings during their battles with illness.
Okay, so why the heck am I making this huge deal about working hard and being sick? Because this Eight of Cups is here to tell me that no matter much peace I feel I have made with my job and the work I do, it’s most definitely NOT worth my health and the time has come to *officially* walk away. I like doing what I do in the field that I’m in but I don’t want to work myself to death. I am ready to walk away from this job into something better. I just need to motivate myself to get back out there. Honestly, I had been searching and searching pretty hard the last 2 years with little to no results, which has been extremely discouraging to say the least.
I had a bit of a ~moment~ while helping my sister move a couple of weeks ago. In Atlanta, all the city’s “beauty shots” are taken from the Jackson Street Bridge. I know because I’ve gotten shots there myself (on this shoot day). As I was driving my sister’s stuff to her new place, I drove under a very common sight on the bridge: a film crew with lights set up and crews running around setting up shots. I’m used to seeing those kinds of happenings around town but this time, I had this explosive realization of wanting to belong to a crew, a team, that worked well together to set up the perfect shots for whatever film or tv show was being shot.
It was a hard realization for me. Without getting too personal, I had a moment where I realized I needed more. The job I’m at now is sucking so much life out of me that I had barely any left to give to my own family. And with that, I’m ready to walk away. I think it’s fitting that with my new-found voice last month, it’s only natural to move on to bigger and better things. Are you feeling the same?
Did April find you conquering things you didn’t think you could? How can you apply that to May? What are you ready to walk away from this month?
Sending you all lots of love on your journey!! ❤