We Had A Baby

My partner and I had a baby. What a whirlwind.

I didn’t want to talk about my pregnancy because it had been so rough. My morning sickness was relentless, day and night. Old back, hip, and knee injuries flared up with a vengeance. My mood was prickly but not terrible, thank goodness. And with all that, the baby was always in good health, which made me so, so happy. But because of other risk factors concerning me (my weight and my age), we decided to be induced right before the 40-week date. 

My midwife (who was amazing), advised me to opt for a vaginal birth with c-section being the absolute last resort. I agreed to give it my all but also released all expectations, knowing that they could change based on reactions to the medicine they would give me for the induction.

On Sunday, February 23 at 8 pm, I went in to get induced and it was the wildest, terrifying, grueling, most rewarding experience of my life. 

I took a pill, which did not sit well with baby and caused a major panic when nurses swarmed my room, telling me to remain calm, IV fluids dripping, an oxygen mask over my face, me asking, “Why?” and getting “Stay calm and breathe deep” as the only answer…apparently the pill they had given me to start the induction had caused the baby’s heart rate to drop, which sent all the nurses rushing in. 

We scrapped that and tried a second medicine. TWICE. Nothing had been changing. I was hoping to dilate comfortably but nothing was happening. We tried a THIRD medicine and around halfway through the second round of medicine #3, I had to make a choice. A c-section was on the table now. I was exhausted but most of all, I was worried about my baby. Were all these medicines causing him trauma? Was my stress of not dilating stressing him? He was painfully in my pelvis, in position to come out but my body was not opening, which made me upset. 

After a short chat with the on-call midwife that Tuesday night (remember I had already been there since Sunday night), we decided to go for a c-section. That’s when the real panic set in. I will save that for another post because it was traumatic as hell and I am still trying to shake those memories away… After all that trauma, my son arrived healthy, happy, and in great shape. Thank you, Goddess.

We were in a bubble at the hospital for a full week and by the time we arrived home, it felt like we had come home to another world. I was advised to stay home for the first two weeks of our release because of the emergency c-section, so it was already feeling like quarantine. Now that the two weeks of healing are up, I’m still having to stay home and I’m antsy as hell. I think my baby can feel it, too. We have ventured outside in short bursts but I’m taking this as a blessing in disguise. My son and I can bond more, we can cozy up more, we can connect even more, and for that, I’m grateful.

Interview: the Tessera Oracle

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You’ve seen it in my September Vibes video and I’m happy to say I’m the proud owner of the Tessera Oracle! I had started seeing photos of it on IG for a while and in various groups and I knew I had to have it! I caught it after the Kickstarter had already ended (of course), but little did I know it was going to be for sale after all!

I had a great time doing an interview with it in the same way I conduct all of my divination interviews. Check it out!

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Deck Interview: The Marigold Tarot

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I’ve had The Marigold Tarot for a little while now and I’m just now sitting down to fully enjoy it. Oh, what an amazing deck it is, too! If you’re familiar with the Shitty Horoscopes series, you know this art and artist, Amrit Brar. She’s wonderful and The Marigold Tarot is pretty wonderful too. Let’s see what it has to say!

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Deck Interview: Ethereal Visions Illuminated Tarot Deck

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She’s here! The Ethereal Visions Illuminated Tarot deck is in my hands and I am absolutely in love! It was love at first sight with this deck, and now, with the cards in my hands, I fall more and more in love with them every day. It’s such a special deck created by amazing people and it’s always such a joy to read with. Check it out!

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Wheel of the Year 2017 – December Card + Rituals

Wheel Of The Year 2017
Wowzers…2017…what a year!  I feel as though this was truly the year of ~realizing stuff~ because so many things were uncovered.  I don’t even know how to feel anymore, to be honest.

Okay okay, let’s step back for a sec to November.  How was yours?  Was it every bit as Nine of Cups as you thought, meaning did you feel the overflowing energy of your intuition and/or subconscious?  My subconscious had quite a bit to tell me via dream time, which led to quite a few days feeling foggy, confused, and extra emotional.  Towards the end, I was happy to feel some clarity coming through, even if that meant that once the fog cleared, the landscape looked quite different than I remembered it.  Was it the same for you?

What’s in store for the last month of 2017?  Let’s take a look!

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Wheel of the Year 2017 – November Card

Wheel Of The Year 2017

I always feel like November is The Darkest Month™. Why? I don’t know. I guess transitioning from light to darkness seems to move in a pretty blunt way instead of smoothly, especially here in Atlanta. It went from hot to cold in a snap and I’m sure it will get hot again out of nowhere before it gets cold again. I should be used to it by now, I’ve been here almost 30 years! But no, I will never get used to erratic Georgia weather.

How was your October? Did anything reveal itself beyond the veil? Did you listen to your intuition and take some much needed time for self-care? Not gonna lie – I didn’t and now I’m suffering a bit with a sinus thing but I did have some beyond the veil revelations that were quite beautiful.
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Wheel of the Year 2017 – October Card

Wheel Of The Year 2017
How has September treated you? September’s message in the Nine of Wands hit me pretty hard that month.  The phrase that kept coming up for me was “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle” – myself included.  If anything, September’s message was that of resilience and courage.  Where did you find your resilience and courage?  How will that transition us into October?

Continue reading Wheel of the Year 2017 – October Card